So TVA...has died a quick, painless death. I was a 30-day vegan..minus about 5 days (that's including my whoops at Maggiano's on the 17th and Cheesecake Factory on the 18th). I made it to the 27th and say what you want, but all this running and training I've been doing for this 5K? (which is THIS SATURDAY!!! And I'm suuuuper excited!!) Well, I got hungry!! And Dad made steak and fries and I lapped it up like it was my last meal and I've been eating cheese and butter ever since. The steak did make me feel pretty crappy, though. I could have done without. But I have no regrets. I may not have made it 30 full days, but I got damned close! And I can still take away from TVA:
1. I learned that going vegan is not as impossible as many people make it out to be.
2. New, filling, colorful, flavorful, adventurous, healthy, cruelty-free recipes.
3. I made my food choices for myself, stood up for them despite much resistance, and gained a little confidence because of it.
4. I learned to appreciate and savor food instead of rushing through it.
Food catches a lot of flack. I completely disagree with the idea of "food for fuel, not pleasure". That's crap. I think by not enjoying a good meal, a good wine, a good dessert, whatever! that you're cheating yourself out of a rich experience. I don't think that means overindulging, though either. It just means enjoy a little of everything and savor it. The atmosphere, the flavors, the friends who are enjoying it with you! There's little that satisfies me more.
Classes are almost over and I'm happy to say that I have a fighting chance of making a "C" in Anatomy and Physiology!! It sounds totally slacker of me to say it, but here's the thing. I've been busting my butt in this class and to no avail. I just haven't been "getting it". I've been convinced that I'm going to fail and made peace with it. But I haven't given up! When we started the semester the lecture hall was packed!! Not a seat left open. By the first couple weeks, we had about half the starting number. Then by the last couple weeks, we're down to less than 10 students. I understand not wanting to "waste your time" on a class that you're destined to fail and have to re-take anyhow, but I'm proud of myself for not quitting. And it appears that it may have paid off! I have one exam left--my final--and I'm just going to wear out my notes and flashcards and text this weekend and do my very best next Tuesday.
This weekend will be super busy--5k run Saturday morning, my sister's sorority ball that evening (I'm her date!), and study study study!
I'll be sure to post pictures!
I'm trying my best to keep on moving forward, but it's been difficult lately. As you know, my husband's deployed to Iraq right now. Well, we got some bad news this week and while I can't go into detail, basically he's not going to be coming home as soon as he was supposed to. We've almost made it 7 months into this deployment and it just feels harder hitting a snag like this. I'm trying so hard to keep it together, especially around the kids, but I'm losing it honestly. I just want my husband back and my family to be together again. I know this is the life we signed up for, but that doesn't make it feel any better!
Keep on swimming!!
Well ya'll, I'd better start keeping up with this whole blogging thing a little better so I don't have to come in and write a novel like this each week!
Thanks to my readers for my very first comments! And for the recommendation on the vegan cheese! I'm happy to say that I did try the mozzarella flavored-follow your heart cheese and it was WAAAAY better than the cheddar flavored! Made for a great pizza!
Alright ya'll, 'night!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Never apologize
I began this blog with full intent of nothing but apologizing and shaming myself for a number of things--namely being so absent from the blogging world and for my indescretions in TVA.
However, the ever wise Julia Child ringing in my ear convinced me not to, so I will merely describe what is guilting me away, but I will wear it proudly!
First, why haven't I been blogging in these important weeks of Totally Vegan April?? Pure laziness. That and I have been cooking nonstop. So there.
Second, how is TVA going? I was a 17-day vegan. And a good one at that. There were a few mishaps of discovering traces of milk powder in some foods once I'd begun eating them, but aside from that I was pretty much religious. Saturday night I ate for the very first time at Maggiano's in Nashville with a very dear friend of mine whom I had a small falling out in the past couple years. I haven't seen him in two or three or talked with him in months. Bobby and I have been friends since 2nd grade. When asked at our class Christmas party what he would get me if he were Santa he answered "a Barbie doll". Why on earth is this remotely relevent? Well, to explain our relationship, for Christmas our senior year of high school, Bobby got me a Barbie doll. Anywho, over the past few years of babies, marriage, and pcs-ing to NY, we lost touch. It was a combined effort, or lack there of. It's happened with a number of my friends and basically it's no one's fault. It's just life and change and moving on. All exactly what we are supposed to be doing at this point in our lives. It's just so hard to accept that when you come back "home" to a place that remains the same after being gone and you try to fit so many activities and people into a teeny tiny week (usually last minute at that) and they have their own lives, families, jobs, school, etc it's hard not to take it personally.
So Bobby and I got all dressed up (I got to wear my new "homegrown dress" from Anthropologie and got a million compliments on it! I am in love), met up, and drove out for a night on the town in Nashville. It involved:
Cd searching at FYE and Border's. Bourbon at the Whiskey Kitchen. Hot stones. A couple wrong turns. Full bladders. Fancy bathrooms. Red gingham table cloths. Maggiano's. Reisling Chateau Ste Michele (best. wine. everrrr.). The best meal I've ever eaten. Friendly waiters. Wine giggles. Loud conversations. Calamari. Bruschetta. Pesto chicken pasta. Gnocchi in vodka sauce. Lobster linguine. Styrofoam boxes. Pictures. Cigars. Singing in the parking garage. Old Crow Medicine Show. Johnny and June. Cool air. Thick smoke. Laughter.
It was a fantastic night and I'm so glad we went.
I intended to keep up the vegan thing throughout dinner, but by God, I wanted some cheese on my italian food and cheese turned into a meal chock full of animals and their by products. I made some vegans somewhere in the world very disappointed.
Today was the March of Dimes 2 mile walk for babies at Centennial Park in Nash, and I went with mom and Kelly and brought the kids. It was super sunny and I got a little too much sun on my arms, but we had fun. We missed the food tent somehow so we went afterwards to eat at the Cheesecake Factory there at Green Hills. Oh. My. Gosh. Was I about to skip out on some cheesecake? Oh no. No I wasn't. But here's where that "don't apologize" thing comes in to play. I definitely enjoyed it. And I don't feel like a failure because of it!
Tomorrow I'm restarting Totally Vegan April, now that I've thoroughly stuffed myself until I want to vomit. I do feel sluggish and miserable, but all that food was truly amazing. I'll get back on the bandwagon soon enough!
I have experienced some pretty amazing vegan dishes in the past couple weeks, though! I'd never had quinoa before. I've made it now twice and filled it up with bell peppers, red onion, chopped fresh cilantro, and zucchini. Incredible flavors and colours. It just makes you feel wonderful and wakes up your taste buds.
I have missed cheese terribly, though...
Vegan cheese? Sucks. In a word. I tried the follow your heart cheddar flavored crap and man it was terrible.
Vegan ice cream, however. Mmmmm. My favorite is Purely Decadent Cookie-dough "non-dairy frozen dessert". The name is a mouthful, but it's wonderful. It's made with soy and coconut milk and absolutely animal-by product free. It does kind of have a playdough-y taste, but a good one? Like when you're a kid and you smell playdough and you want to eat it but when you taste it, it's just super salty? Well, it tastes like how you dreamed playdough would taste...in a good way. Does that make sense?
I'll try to post some recipes in the next few days as I try to detox out of my off-vegan weekend.
Till then, 'night ya'll
However, the ever wise Julia Child ringing in my ear convinced me not to, so I will merely describe what is guilting me away, but I will wear it proudly!
First, why haven't I been blogging in these important weeks of Totally Vegan April?? Pure laziness. That and I have been cooking nonstop. So there.
Second, how is TVA going? I was a 17-day vegan. And a good one at that. There were a few mishaps of discovering traces of milk powder in some foods once I'd begun eating them, but aside from that I was pretty much religious. Saturday night I ate for the very first time at Maggiano's in Nashville with a very dear friend of mine whom I had a small falling out in the past couple years. I haven't seen him in two or three or talked with him in months. Bobby and I have been friends since 2nd grade. When asked at our class Christmas party what he would get me if he were Santa he answered "a Barbie doll". Why on earth is this remotely relevent? Well, to explain our relationship, for Christmas our senior year of high school, Bobby got me a Barbie doll. Anywho, over the past few years of babies, marriage, and pcs-ing to NY, we lost touch. It was a combined effort, or lack there of. It's happened with a number of my friends and basically it's no one's fault. It's just life and change and moving on. All exactly what we are supposed to be doing at this point in our lives. It's just so hard to accept that when you come back "home" to a place that remains the same after being gone and you try to fit so many activities and people into a teeny tiny week (usually last minute at that) and they have their own lives, families, jobs, school, etc it's hard not to take it personally.
So Bobby and I got all dressed up (I got to wear my new "homegrown dress" from Anthropologie and got a million compliments on it! I am in love), met up, and drove out for a night on the town in Nashville. It involved:
Cd searching at FYE and Border's. Bourbon at the Whiskey Kitchen. Hot stones. A couple wrong turns. Full bladders. Fancy bathrooms. Red gingham table cloths. Maggiano's. Reisling Chateau Ste Michele (best. wine. everrrr.). The best meal I've ever eaten. Friendly waiters. Wine giggles. Loud conversations. Calamari. Bruschetta. Pesto chicken pasta. Gnocchi in vodka sauce. Lobster linguine. Styrofoam boxes. Pictures. Cigars. Singing in the parking garage. Old Crow Medicine Show. Johnny and June. Cool air. Thick smoke. Laughter.
It was a fantastic night and I'm so glad we went.
I intended to keep up the vegan thing throughout dinner, but by God, I wanted some cheese on my italian food and cheese turned into a meal chock full of animals and their by products. I made some vegans somewhere in the world very disappointed.
Today was the March of Dimes 2 mile walk for babies at Centennial Park in Nash, and I went with mom and Kelly and brought the kids. It was super sunny and I got a little too much sun on my arms, but we had fun. We missed the food tent somehow so we went afterwards to eat at the Cheesecake Factory there at Green Hills. Oh. My. Gosh. Was I about to skip out on some cheesecake? Oh no. No I wasn't. But here's where that "don't apologize" thing comes in to play. I definitely enjoyed it. And I don't feel like a failure because of it!
Tomorrow I'm restarting Totally Vegan April, now that I've thoroughly stuffed myself until I want to vomit. I do feel sluggish and miserable, but all that food was truly amazing. I'll get back on the bandwagon soon enough!
I have experienced some pretty amazing vegan dishes in the past couple weeks, though! I'd never had quinoa before. I've made it now twice and filled it up with bell peppers, red onion, chopped fresh cilantro, and zucchini. Incredible flavors and colours. It just makes you feel wonderful and wakes up your taste buds.
I have missed cheese terribly, though...
Vegan cheese? Sucks. In a word. I tried the follow your heart cheddar flavored crap and man it was terrible.
Vegan ice cream, however. Mmmmm. My favorite is Purely Decadent Cookie-dough "non-dairy frozen dessert". The name is a mouthful, but it's wonderful. It's made with soy and coconut milk and absolutely animal-by product free. It does kind of have a playdough-y taste, but a good one? Like when you're a kid and you smell playdough and you want to eat it but when you taste it, it's just super salty? Well, it tastes like how you dreamed playdough would taste...in a good way. Does that make sense?
I'll try to post some recipes in the next few days as I try to detox out of my off-vegan weekend.
Till then, 'night ya'll
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Be Proud
Often I find myself caught up in self-criticsms and beating myself up over every little thing. I shouldn't have eaten so much of this. I should have done better on my exams. I'm not running fast enough. I didn't get that seam straight enough.
Some days nothing I do is good enough.
Well, for the next 15 minutes things are different. Sometimes acknowlegement of your accomplisments and a little self-praise is just what the doctor ordered!
So here's my list, I'm proud of myself for:
1. Making all of Riley's baby food. It's cheaper, I know what's going into his food, I can personalize his portions, and it was one of my resolutions that I've kept!
2. Still breastfeeding. I stopped nursing James at 6 months, for several reasons and regretted it. Riley's almost 7 mos old and still has not had a bottle of formula yet!
3. Sticking with school. My grades aren't ideal, but I'm not quitting and that counts for something, right?
4. Working out, running again, and sticking with it. Another resolution there!
5. Committing the next 30 days (starting in 10 minutes) to going vegan, and putting my foot down when people (ahem..Daddy..) try to convince me to change my mind.
6. Saving money. I've been setting some aside while Jay's been deployed, so we can put it toward a family vacation when he gets home!
7. Holding down the fort while Jason's been gone. Dealing with a two-year old, a baby, a dog, pottytraining, school, and living with my parents as a 22 year old married-single mom? I'd say that's a pretty big accomplishment right there!
So what are your accomplishments? Goals? Go ahead and make your own list. It'll make you feel good!
Take pride in yourself.
Now I'm off to sneak in one more bite of ice cream before TVA [totally vegan april] begins in 3 minutes!!
'Night ya'll!
Some days nothing I do is good enough.
Well, for the next 15 minutes things are different. Sometimes acknowlegement of your accomplisments and a little self-praise is just what the doctor ordered!
So here's my list, I'm proud of myself for:
1. Making all of Riley's baby food. It's cheaper, I know what's going into his food, I can personalize his portions, and it was one of my resolutions that I've kept!
2. Still breastfeeding. I stopped nursing James at 6 months, for several reasons and regretted it. Riley's almost 7 mos old and still has not had a bottle of formula yet!
3. Sticking with school. My grades aren't ideal, but I'm not quitting and that counts for something, right?
4. Working out, running again, and sticking with it. Another resolution there!
5. Committing the next 30 days (starting in 10 minutes) to going vegan, and putting my foot down when people (ahem..Daddy..) try to convince me to change my mind.
6. Saving money. I've been setting some aside while Jay's been deployed, so we can put it toward a family vacation when he gets home!
7. Holding down the fort while Jason's been gone. Dealing with a two-year old, a baby, a dog, pottytraining, school, and living with my parents as a 22 year old married-single mom? I'd say that's a pretty big accomplishment right there!
So what are your accomplishments? Goals? Go ahead and make your own list. It'll make you feel good!
Take pride in yourself.
Now I'm off to sneak in one more bite of ice cream before TVA [totally vegan april] begins in 3 minutes!!
'Night ya'll!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Sometimes all we need is a little motivation
Here are some words to inspire, motivate, provoke thought, and perk you up!
"Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they're yours." R. Bach (Illusions)
"It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels he is worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great god who made him." -- Abraham Lincoln
"To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men--that is genius."--Emerson
"Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm; it moves stones, it charms brutes. Enthusiasm is the genius of sincerity and truth accomplishes no victories without it.." -- Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)
"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight." - Helen Keller.
"What I must do is all that concerns me, not what other people think.." -- Emerson
" Go for it now. The future is promised to no one." -Wayne Dyer
“One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.” – Michael Cibenko
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu
And my favorite:
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
"Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they're yours." R. Bach (Illusions)
"It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels he is worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great god who made him." -- Abraham Lincoln
"To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men--that is genius."--Emerson
"Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm; it moves stones, it charms brutes. Enthusiasm is the genius of sincerity and truth accomplishes no victories without it.." -- Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)
"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight." - Helen Keller.
"What I must do is all that concerns me, not what other people think.." -- Emerson
" Go for it now. The future is promised to no one." -Wayne Dyer
“One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.” – Michael Cibenko
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu
And my favorite:
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
Feeling good
All this sunshine has got me in a good mood. So good, in fact, that I have been working out! consistently! over the past few weeks. I've started running again and I love it. I'm certainly not in the shape I was in back in my track days of high school, but I'm doing alright. And I'm proud of myself for that. There's another resolution to check on the list!
So, it's not even started, but I'm already having some conflict with Totally Vegan April. I went to Kroger today for some vegan staples to have in the cabinet for meals these next couple of weeks, and it hit me---I'm going to have to miss out on my very favorite Easter tradition this year---Cadbury cream eggs!! For the past 10+ years, I have had a [box of] cadbury cream egg[s] at Easter time. The big ole Bunny always leaves them in my Easter basket. But this year I'm going to have to refrain from all that chocolatey-milky-creamy-sugary goodness. Sad day.
I will admit..I may have bought a box of them amidst all my vegan fare to sneak in my last couple days of foodie freedom... =)
I'm currently working on a quiet book for Riley. I hit up Hobby Lobby yesterday while I was out on a shopping/Olive Garden date with Granny and my boys and got some cute buttons, craft felt, and fabric to make it. I've been sketching out ideas for it and I'm sooo excited to work on it. If you're interested in making your own you can find inspiration, like I did, here: http://homemadebyjill.blogspot.com/2009/07/quiet-book-templates.html
Well "Parenthood" is on in the next four minutes so I'm going plant myself in front of the tube for the next hour.
'evening ya'll!
So, it's not even started, but I'm already having some conflict with Totally Vegan April. I went to Kroger today for some vegan staples to have in the cabinet for meals these next couple of weeks, and it hit me---I'm going to have to miss out on my very favorite Easter tradition this year---Cadbury cream eggs!! For the past 10+ years, I have had a [box of] cadbury cream egg[s] at Easter time. The big ole Bunny always leaves them in my Easter basket. But this year I'm going to have to refrain from all that chocolatey-milky-creamy-sugary goodness. Sad day.
I will admit..I may have bought a box of them amidst all my vegan fare to sneak in my last couple days of foodie freedom... =)
I'm currently working on a quiet book for Riley. I hit up Hobby Lobby yesterday while I was out on a shopping/Olive Garden date with Granny and my boys and got some cute buttons, craft felt, and fabric to make it. I've been sketching out ideas for it and I'm sooo excited to work on it. If you're interested in making your own you can find inspiration, like I did, here: http://homemadebyjill.blogspot.com/2009/07/quiet-book-templates.html
Well "Parenthood" is on in the next four minutes so I'm going plant myself in front of the tube for the next hour.
'evening ya'll!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Resolution #5. Try the vegan diet for at least 30 days
So it is T minus 2 Days till Totally Vegan April!
I've been meaning to go trial vegan for over a year now, so here's my chance! There's exactly 30 days in the month of April, so it's the perfect opportunity for me to go for it.
Whenever I've mentioned my plans to family and friends, the reaction is anywhere from
"Oh I'd love to do it with you, but it seems like it'd be impossible to give up x [cheese, ice cream, eggs, etc]" to
"It's just not healthy" (mostly my Southern-butter-and-meat-eating family) to my favorite, "I'm basically a vegetarian too! Except for chicken. And pork."
My parents have kind of let off on it, requesting only that I educate them on how to eat vegan and to make sure I balance my diet so that I don't become malnourished.
The big resistance I think I'm going to come across is my Granny, on Easter Sunday. She's doing dinner and of course, she's all Southern. That means, it's "unhealthy" to not eat a hefty serving of meat (main dish), bread (+ butter) and veggies (as long as they're cooked with meat for seasoning and butter).
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up all these animal byproducts because I don't like them. I am a Southern girl, through and through, and like Paula, I can appreciate a stick of butter!
But I also appreciate the Earth, taking care of it, and all the creatures living on it. I lost touch with my veggie-tree-hugging-hippie-ness in the past year, so I'm happy to reconnect with that part of me. And what better time than April?? Especially with EARTH DAY coming up on the 22nd!? I plan to celebrate it bigtime! Not sure how I'm going to do so....more details to come!
I've got my meals planned out for Thurs thru Monday, and I'll try to share recipes as I go along.
I'm suuuper excited about doing this, ya'll! Anyone want to give it a shot with me? If you're not ready to commit to a full 30 days of veganism, you can always take it the one-day-a-week route! Remember, every little effort counts and helps our Earth, the animals, and our waistlines!
I've been meaning to go trial vegan for over a year now, so here's my chance! There's exactly 30 days in the month of April, so it's the perfect opportunity for me to go for it.
Whenever I've mentioned my plans to family and friends, the reaction is anywhere from
"Oh I'd love to do it with you, but it seems like it'd be impossible to give up x [cheese, ice cream, eggs, etc]" to
"It's just not healthy" (mostly my Southern-butter-and-meat-eating family) to my favorite, "I'm basically a vegetarian too! Except for chicken. And pork."
My parents have kind of let off on it, requesting only that I educate them on how to eat vegan and to make sure I balance my diet so that I don't become malnourished.
The big resistance I think I'm going to come across is my Granny, on Easter Sunday. She's doing dinner and of course, she's all Southern. That means, it's "unhealthy" to not eat a hefty serving of meat (main dish), bread (+ butter) and veggies (as long as they're cooked with meat for seasoning and butter).
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up all these animal byproducts because I don't like them. I am a Southern girl, through and through, and like Paula, I can appreciate a stick of butter!
But I also appreciate the Earth, taking care of it, and all the creatures living on it. I lost touch with my veggie-tree-hugging-hippie-ness in the past year, so I'm happy to reconnect with that part of me. And what better time than April?? Especially with EARTH DAY coming up on the 22nd!? I plan to celebrate it bigtime! Not sure how I'm going to do so....more details to come!
I've got my meals planned out for Thurs thru Monday, and I'll try to share recipes as I go along.
I'm suuuper excited about doing this, ya'll! Anyone want to give it a shot with me? If you're not ready to commit to a full 30 days of veganism, you can always take it the one-day-a-week route! Remember, every little effort counts and helps our Earth, the animals, and our waistlines!
Friday, March 26, 2010
A Journal For Jordan
I had the pleasure of hearing Dana Canedy speak at my school last night on her book, "A Journal for Jordan". Ms. Canedy wrote the memoir after her fiance, 1st SGT Charles Monroe King was killed in action while serving in Iraq, 2006. While he was deployed, he filled out a journal with life lessons and stories for his baby son, Jordan. After his death, Ms. Canedy took the journal and created a memoir of Charles, his life, his service, and their love. You can read more about it at http://ajournalforjordan.com/
As a mom of two little boys and the wife of a soldier currently overseas, she really struck a cord with me. Of course I bawled my eyes out the entire time! Who wouldn't? She talked about how Charles got to meet his son only once, on his two week leave, only a few short weeks before his untimely death. Her son was 7 months old at the time.
My youngest, Riley is almost 7 months old now. The thought of him or any little boy having to spend the rest of his life without his dad just breaks my heart. No child should have to go through that. But then again, no child should have to go without their dad for any period of time.
I think about this war, this life. These deployments separating families--separating MY family for months to a year at a time. It isn't fair.
I feel so many things . . . I am angry. Sometimes I am resentful. Sad. Frustrated. Helpless. Lonely.
But I am also proud. I'm proud of my soldier for doing the job he committed to, that he was willing to do. I'm proud of where I am from. I'm proud of my children for every little thing they achieve: from rolling over and sitting up, to learning to count and use the potty and their manners. And I am proud of myself, for holding down the fort, for keeping going, even when I don't think I can.
We can't let the ugliness in the world overshadow its beauty.
As Ms. Canedy spoke to my fellow students and I, she had this glow, this appreciation of life about her that I think only comes from someone who has experienced true tragedy. I can't imagine the hurt she experienced from losing someone so close. But she somehow came out of that hurt with the knowledge that life is much too precious and too short not to live.
When you hear stories like hers, no matter what is going on in your life, it just makes you want to go out and give your loved ones the biggest hug and kiss you can lay on them! So that's exactly what I did. I came home, gave my boys a good squeeze and hopped on yahoo to send Jason an email about just how much I love and appreciate him.
Now I suggest you do the same!
'Night ya'll
As a mom of two little boys and the wife of a soldier currently overseas, she really struck a cord with me. Of course I bawled my eyes out the entire time! Who wouldn't? She talked about how Charles got to meet his son only once, on his two week leave, only a few short weeks before his untimely death. Her son was 7 months old at the time.
My youngest, Riley is almost 7 months old now. The thought of him or any little boy having to spend the rest of his life without his dad just breaks my heart. No child should have to go through that. But then again, no child should have to go without their dad for any period of time.
I think about this war, this life. These deployments separating families--separating MY family for months to a year at a time. It isn't fair.
I feel so many things . . . I am angry. Sometimes I am resentful. Sad. Frustrated. Helpless. Lonely.
But I am also proud. I'm proud of my soldier for doing the job he committed to, that he was willing to do. I'm proud of where I am from. I'm proud of my children for every little thing they achieve: from rolling over and sitting up, to learning to count and use the potty and their manners. And I am proud of myself, for holding down the fort, for keeping going, even when I don't think I can.
We can't let the ugliness in the world overshadow its beauty.
As Ms. Canedy spoke to my fellow students and I, she had this glow, this appreciation of life about her that I think only comes from someone who has experienced true tragedy. I can't imagine the hurt she experienced from losing someone so close. But she somehow came out of that hurt with the knowledge that life is much too precious and too short not to live.
When you hear stories like hers, no matter what is going on in your life, it just makes you want to go out and give your loved ones the biggest hug and kiss you can lay on them! So that's exactly what I did. I came home, gave my boys a good squeeze and hopped on yahoo to send Jason an email about just how much I love and appreciate him.
Now I suggest you do the same!
'Night ya'll
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